I didn't notice it's already past 9 o'clock in the evening. Well, not until my laptop's time caught my attention. Man, how time goes by so fast.

It's been a really tough week. For the most part, it's school-- the rest, some other things I never thought would even bother me. I can say I'm quite spaced out. When I think about it, I can almost laugh at the thought that, few days ago, I was at the brink of losing my head again.

I just got home. It's now 07:21 PM in my computer's clock. I'm feeling drowsy and it's really weird because I find it hard to sleep these days. It's not insomnia or what. I just couldn't get myself to sleep.

Many has happened for the week that passed. Well, more than a week actually. It's been eleven days and 10 nights since I arrived home and what did I do? Nothing.

My Own Elucidation

By elf_archer09

Why do we exist? Maybe like me, you sometimes ask the same query yet no matter how much you excavate deep into your head, some things will remain to be awfully vague. Our human brain can only think so much, even if it’s said that we certainly are the most intellectual creatures treading on this planet.

Being yet again interested about how varied people see life as it is, I roved around and asked the question. Alas! I was responded accordingly. Some say we live for ourselves; for our aspirations and dreams. Others say, we live for others, so we can make them happy and by that, we become jollier as well. In any case, I say we live for both and all other reasons that one could possibly deem. At least, that is how I recognize it.

You see, living is designed in such an intricate manner for us to understand fully how it is. Thus, we develop beliefs, may it be collective or individual, to help us move along with the current of our existence from a day to another. Honestly, it don’t really matter what you believe in, what matters most is that you single out which of the gazillions of reasons floating around us is the answer to why you have a breath of life in you. Above all, you must know your God, (a divine faith which you should NEVER detach yourself from).

Writer’s note: If you ever read this piece, you may find me surreal for even bothering myself with a concept that, for so long, philosophers of thousands of years ago have boggled their minds reflecting unto. Yes, I maybe am, however, what pushed me in letting you in on this thought is the fact that inside each of us is a thinker, a philosopher. One moment or the other, you find yourself deliberating about it. With that, I know you can somehow relate to this.

Have a good day!!!! God Bless!

What's Up With Plurk Anyway? You Ask.

Plurk is a social journal for your life (as it is described in their front page).

 

Plurk for me is wayyyyy beyond that. Plurk is an easy-share/easy-post micro-blogging site. It's very interactive and filled with shitloads of info and fun. Your friends or fans can easily learn about what's in your mind depending on what you share and in turn, they can give a quick response to it too. But, being still "YOUR own journal", you can disable comments of a particular Plurk (the threads you start or the things you post). 

 

Your Plurk friends are the people whose Plurks are followed as well by you. You in return can respond to them or just ignore what they have to say when they don't draw your attention at all by simply not responding or putting them in mute (I prefer muting them just to avoid being bothered by some annoying plurks). Now just to tip you off, the world is still cruel out there (lols). I'm not speaking in general, but some, if they find you objectionable and they feel you're just another fooltard who doesn't have a place in their plurk space, they can effortlessly un-follow your threads (that's friendly enough actually), un-friend you (don't worry, you won't be notified if you get deleted in someone else's list), or worse--block you. Aww! When this shit happens, you’re off their timeline, baby. Don't take it personally, that's just how it goes. They're entitled to who they want to remain in their page, just like how it is with you too.

 

Okay, timeline; A timeline is a timeline. This shows your threads in real-time. You can see on which date and at what time a Plurk is plurked. Don't get confused with all the boxes afloat the page they're the Plurks I'm telling you about.

 

The catch about this thing is that unlike other social networks, you have to maintain your Karma Points. The karma points is like your pass or key in unlocking some of Plurk’s fun features such as new sets of emoticons which are crazier than the basic ones, the right to give your page a title, change your Plurk creature to a more colorful one, and upon reaching Nirvana you're more like an elite member of the Plurkworld. You'll get there when you reach 81 karma points and you’ll be able to see a shimmering Yin-Yang Symbol in your profile.  It doesn't end there though. When you reach 100 karma points, quite frankly nothing special would happen except that you get your "bragging rights". lol..

 

Take note: The Karma points doesn't go upwards alone. It can dramatically decrease whenever you miss a day of plurking. Yes, quite bitchy I know. It is a high-maintenance stuff. But if you're going on a longer vacation, you can do Karma Freeze. This is found in the "My Account" Section. (You'll know all about it when you're already in Plurk). Another tip: According to a popular plurker, whom I totally agree with, a real plurker at heart isn’t bothered by the Karma points.

Well, if you are a newbie, your eagerness to increase it is understandable. J

 

Besides the technicalities of Plurk, the thing which I love the most is that you learn f***loads of things from them; Things which you can’t learn from school. Hopefully, you’ll be able to be virtually friends with some of the coolest people in the country. Indeed, Plurk has taken a lot of pinoys, and the world as a whole, by storm.

Don’t worry though, I myself had a hard time dealing with it at first but now I’m truly lovin’ it. Plurk keeps on growing and developing. Recently, the Plurk Search was launched and is of great use to many Plurkers such as myself.

By the way, never expect to have or gain real friends from it. It’s still the virtual world. The rest concerning it, I leave to your probing skills.  Just have a plurk-full of fun!!  I hope to see you there. *wink* wink*

http://www.plurk.com

http://plurk.com/Elanesse/invite

 

Could This Be Him?

I’m not quite sure what time it is, but I’m now with my friends. We’re in a car, and I’m really not sure what kind of ride it is. The friends are giggling and laughing at the same time with their teasing stories while here I am, busy calling a friend on the phone.

“Mofy, andito na kami, bilisan mo na, come over fast.—Okay.. .okay… bye!” *pressed end call*

I am keeping hushed listening to my ladies---and sigh….. *looked at the driver’s seat* (in my head: What do I have here?? Oh dear…. I am so lucky!) *casting sheep’s eyes at the guy in front*

Is he truly mine? *heart throbbing* Oh my, look at those eyes…impeccably deep-seated with irises so seductively black. That nose (chuckles noiselessly)-- gorgeously sculpted by God. Hay Dios Meo! (Is this for real? This is a dream come true!)…. And then for a couple of seconds there, he noticed that I am gazing at him and he smiled. My heart now is racing, like galloping horses. My emotions are crashing like waves. He’s just too good to be true, but he’s in love with me and I am too.” I can feel bliss at this very moment, I know, I can tell.

*click* lights turned off and…… what??! It’s past 7 am already?! Sheez, I didn’t set the alarm. Darn! Yeah girl you’re dreaming alright!! I said to myself upon waking up. Who was that friggin’ guy anyway?? He was uber fly but I’m sure that I haven’t seen him yet.

From what I can summon up, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a baseball cap colored blue. He’s prolly in his mid-20s, like 25 or26.

I still can’t figure out the gist of that dream, but I definitely recall how deeply in love I was while dreaming about it. Now it makes me want to curse: S**t! lol

Wow hwhatta dream!! Anyway, I’ll just think of it as a positive sign. It could mean anything.*grin*

Fashion Basics 101

I don't know why I am now attempting to write this one down but since they titled me a "fashionista" during our prom, I think I have a little authority to give out some teeny tiny tips to people just having a hard time scavenging in their closet to find a nice outfit.

 

Look I'm not going to try giving you steps towards a major make-over. What I offer is a start. In any case, everybody has really got to start at some point.

 

So, let's get down to the real deal here,shall we?? 

 

Okay, for them ladies.... Remember: black and white are two vital colors. Whatever you wear, these two are gonna do well with them. Now what items am I exactly pointing at? Pants, blouse, and if you're a Muslim lady-- veil.

 

Lemme add this one: a pair of black sandals or pumps. 

 

Apart from those two clors mentioned earlier, we also have the color brown on the list.

 

These group of very basic items are especially useful during TRAVELS. Personally, I can say that wherever I go, you can expect that I have them in my luggage or in my bag. They're totally fashion-savers!

 

Speaking of bags-- whenever I go shopping, I often use a tote bag, particularly when it’s really shopping ‘til my wallet goes all cleared out.hee. They’re a major help to keep you from carrying all those huge paper bags (which are almost empty anyway) from shops. (Don’t lose your receipts though! Okay? You wouldn’t wanna be in trouble with mamang gwardya).

If you’ve got really cute tote bags, they’ll accent your outfit. I’m not advertising or what but I’ve seen must-buys in Puma and UCB (United Colors of Benetton). They’re so pretty that it’ll haunt your dreams if you don’t purchase one. 

 

To press on, one must-have is a pair of dainty slippers. It’s quite easy to spot one nowadays. Some of the brands we all see in malls or boutiques are Havaianas, Ipanema, Ghrenda, Crocs, etc. (Haha! Did I say I wasn’t advertising? lol. Well, really I’m not.) Now if you’re on a quite tensed budget, there’s Banana Peel, and Toeberries, they’ve got really really really cute designs. I like them personally. 

 

Slippers are very useful if you just want to go out to buy some grocery items or if you just want to go to the salon. Generally, they’re easily slipped on and you’re off to go.

 

Besides slippers, a pair of hip sneakers is of great use. I also would suggest a white or black sneaks, or any versatile color that can go with any wardrobe. (Converse™ maybe…  susssshhhh….heehee.)

 

Hmmm… what else??  Uh-oh.. the Vanity Kit.  Lemme not forget about it. It’s extremely important and essential for a chic to remain fresh all day long! What’s in a vanity kit depends on what you use for a re-touch or good hygiene. Basically, what I have in mine is a pressed powder, and a loose one (of course you won’t and don’t have to share your pressed one with anyone else but yourself). I also have a blusher and a lip gloss. It’s your choice what other paraphernalia you’ll stuff in it (e.g. eye shadows, a cologne, a brush or comb, and a leave-on as well). Also, never forget to give a li’l space for a tiny alcohol or a hand sanitizer. I as well bring along a pack of wet tissues, they’re really handy. J One little tip: I separate the liquid-based and the powder-based pieces. It’s neat that way.

 

Apologies dear gentlemen, I actually had this done for my girls out there, but I think I can give you some tips too. This is based on my own opinion on how I like a guy would present himself in any state of affairs.

 

To begin with—The shirt. A T-shirt is more like a basic fashion need of anyone of course, especially guys. I won’t suggest on designs ‘coz I ain’t the connoisseur on Men’s department but all I can opinionate about is the size. Find something that’s not too small and not too large. Shirts with collars are nicely seen if you’re wearing sneakers or shoes. At any rate, it’s your own creativity that presents you well with your shirt.

 

With the pants--still not the expert on this one but have on something that fits you well, and something made from good cloth. You’ve got plenty of trade names all over malls. I’m sure you’ll get a pair of jeans worth your money. In connection with this, I noticed that some guys keep wearing their shorts even when they’re not supposed to. It’s a huge no-no. Example, if you’re up to meet a girl please don’t wear ‘em shorts. Not unless you feel the highest possible degree of disinterest meeting up with her, and you intentionally want to look stupid in front of her, then by all means, go do that. Haha! On the other hand, short pants or khakis are dexterous items in their own ways.

 

Concerning the footwear, sneakers, a pair of black shoes, and a pair of sandals are a must-have for a guy.

 

Take Note: To wrap the whole outfit up… put on a real sexy scent. It’s like a cherry on top of scoops of ice cream. Ooh la-la!!! *wink* :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dreamer

 

March 13,2009 at six thirty in the evening—it’s raining hard outside and the internet is just sucky tonight. My only company is Robin Spielberg’s “Beautiful Dreamer” playing. It calms my restless thoughts. Apart from prayers, these (piano) musical pieces has always unruffled my perturbed head.

Some may find me clichéd for being inclined to these serene tunes, however, I couldn’t care less. This pure art is mystical and close to nature. It’s like a channel that enables you to transcend from this reality. It carries you to a place where all your dreams come true and keeps you away from all the ugly circumstances in this world; exactly like when Aladdin took Jasmine on a magic carpet ride.

You might laugh at that cited scene, but it’s a reality that when we are so fed up with our nerve-racking jobs, and dreary lives, we just wish we could soar up above the clouds and be alone for even just a while.

It’s just too bad that Babylon Candles could not be bought anywhere.  If it was possible to have one, I would close my eyes, lit it up, and think of a dreamy river bank where I could lie down and just listen to the water flowing, or maybe up a hill and witness the glorious sun setting far beyond the horizon.

Oh, the rain is starting to halt a little bit, and this music’s been playing for almost thirty minutes already. LOL. What? Five brief paragraphs for thirty minutes? Jeez, I’d be damned! LOL. My professor would  kill me for a slow job such as this. =)

 

A favor my dear comrades: INSPIRE ME! =) elf_archer09

 

So Psyched!!

Tomorrow's my exam in Psyche 54 (Social Psychology). This subject's not really within the BS Nursing curicullum but I took it when I got extended. Self-gratification is the reason behind it. I love Psychology, but as I see it, it returns so little love for me, and this makes me really saaaddd... (lol)

Anyway, it'd be a completion exam--and NO, it's not a removal exam. Well, yeah... okay, so I had my grade card stained with three annoying letters--INC! Then, what about it? It wasn't entirely my fault. I had to leave my Psyche class for the duties I'm having in a government hospital. (haha! Call it a Self-Gratifying Bias under the Biases in Attribution)

So, tonight, I had to force myself into really digging in those pages of poop sheets. Man, talk about re-running and rewinding everything! But, it wasn't that bad though, as I go along with it, I actually could recall those topics. Huzzah! Seems I wasn't really in an Indentity-Seeking state there huh? (lol)

Seriously, I still love Psychology. It makes me understand more about people ( YOU, ME,Your Girlfriend,My Crush, and the neighbor's pet puppy dog--oh exclude that! hee). The really good thing about it was being able to reflect on how I have been lately while keeping pace with my brain digesting all those stuffs stuffed in those sheets.

Oh, shame on me if I ever underestimate how it guided me to understand some significant events in my life that happened for the past few months. It made me realize how and why people do or say such things towards me and towards others as well.

Guess what?? I think I have more biases in me than what I usually acknowledge I have, because I am so schematic on the characteristic that I am, and will always be an understanding, sympathetic, and accepting kind of person, and whatever synonym you could find. Frak that! I make a lot of fundamental attribution errors myself, and yes, perceptual salience will always be the root of all these biases. So human of me!

But, you see, I have also learned-- actually, re-learned a while ago that, hey it's not yet too late for attitude change. With a powerful source, we can change. So, stop molding implicit personality theory and stereotyping around your thoughts. Think first before you make faulty attributions to people. As I always say: Use your brain at all times, and I guess it wouldn't really hurt you to get know some people much better. You can never be overloaded with friends. It isn't like your phonebook getting full.

We may not be perfect, but we can always improve ourselves in a more positive way.




x'cess: this is a good thing to recollect what I have studied a while ago. lol.

I hope I have conveyed even just a minute sense unto you. Have a blessed evening! We rocks!!!

elf_archer09

The Thwarted

I hate the fact that I totally suck in what I do. It's like every little thing that I work hard for to make my mom and dad proud, isn't enough. They don't really get mad or what, which makes me feel more of the guilt of letting them down. 

I don't know of anyone who have felt as I do.You know, like you've been working hard for things and you succeed, yet when you fail at something BIG, those stuffs that made you feel good about yourself fades into thin air.

It's a horrifying reality to face the feeling of being a loser. Several times it crosses my thoughts if I'm really meant to take the path I'm walking on. What if I'm not? The years I've wasted seems too precious to trash, yet it always lets me down as well. 

Recollecting the past just lets frustration flood me, and seeing what's ahead of me, intimidates and terrifies me. I don't know if I can make it. 

Yeah i know there are people who constantly say they'll always have my back and all. But hey! Seriously, even yourself knows that in times of disheartening moments, there's only one person on earth you have: YOURSELF.

Jeez, Could I Be More Wretched?!

Hello world and hello Philippines! The time now is 07:07 am, and I sit here feeling such a loser!!!! (S&*^! *&^$! %$#@! ^%$#!) Sorry about that. It's just that bad luck seemed to have been embracing me last night.

However nervous I was, there's this excitement I felt with the surgical procedure to be perfomed last night. It was an AP (Appendectomy) case, and it was NOT just an AP. The patient was for Exploratory Laparotomy or x-lap. (You know, they sort of clean everything up in the abdomen when the inflamed appendix has ruptured, and the surgeons check for any other significant problems). This kind of procedure lasts for AT LEAST three hours.

It wasn't just about the case that I'll be able to get, but the involvement itself. I've only been on a Caesarian section, Appendectomy, Herniorrhaphy and some other minor surgeries, and X-lap is SOMETHING else.

We were already inside the O.R at 8pm. We've made the necessary preparations-- the instruments on the back table, the mayo table, the O.R bed, and the--well, world-class anesthesia machine they've said (first and only one in the Philippines).

11.30 pm, and all the doctors were assembled already. The Surgeon, Dr. Baquiano, the Anaesthesiologist, Dr. Vizcayno, and the assistant surgeon whom I wasn't able to be acquainted with were present in the OR premises.

Dr. Baquiano got inside and assessed the patient. The classic physical assessment they always do with that kind of case--palpation. Fortunately, (for the patient, and unfortunate for someone who needs the case, that would be me) there was a change in his ( the patient's) condition. His abdomen shifted from board-like to soft. Moreover, the pain he was feeling was on the upper right abdomen, which could suggest a liver problem. He also felt this somewhere on his back, which also suggests a kidney problem. Thus, Dr. Baquiano decided to defer the procedure, and requested for UTZ (ultrasound). This is to further assess the priority problem of the patient, and be able to be certain where to approach best when he starts the procedure.

Oh well, I guess it wasn't just my day. Jinx was in every corner of that room. What more can I do? It's already decided. It just feels really frustrating. bah! Off to sleep now, 16 frickin' hours is driving me nuts.

Sunday Syndrome

All the friends are out, tedious TV shows, and humdrum songs on the radio. Man, the whole crap about Sunday is giving me a headache. Darn!

There's certainly nothing to do around here, and even if there is, the day has a boring feel to it.

I even just scribbled down my narrative report without editing anything.

 Well I couldn't really drown myself into it now, hence, I try to alleviate everything, by playing music from Destiny's Child's discography. The songs IF, T-SHIRT, LOVE, GIRL, and my all-time favorites CATER TO YOU and BROWN EYES. The first three aren't really known but I digg them.

If you listen to all of them, you wouldn't agree with me when I said I will "alleviate" the dull mood of the day, but hey, this is me. I've got some memories of those. They're more of like back in my Dark Ages if you know what I mean.

There's this awe of warmth and a distinct feel of bliss seeing how much you've grown from those old days. Plus, you don't feel any regret and certainly just over the feeling-so-bad stage. 

here's one of the songs I was tellin' you of: enjoy.... 

Cater to You - Destiny Child

This is Fun!

This is one of my two favorite Korean movies. The other one (My Little Bride) also starred the leading lady in this movie, Innocent Steps.

I really love dance sports more than hip-hop and pop dance. Hmm... Oh boy, I really wish I could do that too.

Enjoy the vid. :-)

A Secret Disclosed

It was around 9 in the evening, and I was in front of the computer, when suddenly, I felt weird all over. I noticed that there were rashes on both of my arms. There I realized the impending, yet another allergy attack.

Since I'm quite used to it (because I had it for almost seven years already), I know just what to do. I immediately went to my room, and took two tablets of my medicine (Diphenhydramine). But, unfortunately, it wasn't like any other mild allergic reactions. I can classify it as one of my moderate-severe (allergy) attacks. In fact, it's a really distinct one. It took up on me in a very rapid manner. A thing that never ocurred before. (It usually breaks out after an hour or so). 

My face was flushed all over, and I can feel the heat inside me. My heart was beating so fast, and in a very stalwart manner that it radiates up on my face, and my back. (This is due to the dilatation of the blood vessels which increases the blood volume entering the heart. Thus, to compensate, the heart needs to work double-time). 

At that particular instant, I knew that the drug I took isn't enough to control the situation.

Without wasting any second more (Of course, I wont wait 'til my face bulges), I went to the nearest hospital.

When I arrived at the ER (Emergency Room), I felt inexplicably weak, as if I'm going to faint anytime soon. It was the very first time I ever said "pakibilisan, hindi ko na kaya.

The nurse hurriedly aspirated the solution on the ampule, and gave me a shot of a strong anti-histamine drug. (Aw! That was f*n' painful! lols. For a soon-to-be nurse, I'm a fraidy-cat when it comes to needles. susshhh...)

But, at that moment of my suffering, I just couldn't care less. All I know is that I want to go home and go to bed. I know that the medication given to me will put me to sleep. (A deep sleep, specifically)

So, you want to know how it feels? Well, simple as it is. After several minutes, I feel my extremities go mildly numb, or heavy, as if it's already asleep. Then, I feel really drowsy the following minutes.(And I just can't help it!)

Afterwards,slowly...slowly...slowly....one...two...three..four...f.... and my eyes were shut. 

I go through this everytime I'm in a moderate-severe case of my attacks.

When I wake up the following day, I feel really light (like I'm floating). It (the feeling) doesn't  last though, just the first couple of minutes when I get up.

Just so you know, I really don't like talking about this. That's why you may notice that I only give little details about it. I'll give you two good reasons. First, some may be grossed out. Second, what really happens to me is a bit personal. Not unless you've witnessed me having an allergy attack. Then I couldn't hide it now, could I? (laughs)

Maybe now you wonder why I wrote this even if I'm a bit privy about it. Tell you what, I'll give you one EXCELLENT reason: Because, to those who says "ang arte mo naman!", you don't know how much I want to choke you when you say that! 

Some people just don't get it. It's not being "maarte" or being "rich". It's about being HYPERSENSITIVE to some f*n' stuffs and you CAN'T do anything about it! They don't know how people with this kind of sickness deals with it everyday of their lives. You have to give up some things, in order to avoid triggering the condition. 

As for myself, it's been a part of my life to bring along with me different kinds of medication for it. It's like my lifesaver. Apart from that, I stay away from seafoods. (specifically, crab and shrimp).

There are other stuffs which triggers my ailment, but there's really no need for you to know.

My only point here is that, if you're with someone who has the same case as mine, try to be sensitive. (Because, I tell you, they are hypersensitive to your negative comments as well. And we know that there's no medication for that).

I'm just glad that I have my family and some real good friends who understand my condition, and they're all pretty much concerned about it. Maybe it's time for you to be one of them. 

elf_archer09 =)